Change
by CheerLilium
Summary: Ron and Hermione Weasley, it's how it supposed to be, it's how we expected to be. It's a story about changing what is meant to be and how it can destroy even the strongest friendships. Sequel to If Only! Slight AU
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the plot, all characters belongs to J.K Rowling._

_A/N: It's a sequel to If Only. I posted this a a second chapter to If Only first but it works better as a sequel. If you haven't read the prequel please do that, it will make more sense. R&R :)_

This is my wedding day, the happiest day of my life. Why, oh why does it feels like I'm having the worst day of my life. The heaviness in my chest, the tears on verge in my eyes and my the voice in my head telling me to not to look him in the one we shared while I was walking down the aisle almost made me change my mind. Beside the hurt and sorrow he tried to cover in his facial expression I also saw both can see through each others façade. Well, of course we're best friends or at least we used to.

I couldn't bare you look into the eyes of Ron either. I know I would be searching for a pair of green eyes in the redhead's face. Ron will also notice that something isn't right and ask me about it. He may be thickheaded but he isn't dumb. He will see the pained expression of mine like Harry did.I have wondered if it were wrong of us to make that decision all those years ago. It was for Ron's sake, I have known how he felt about me since 4th the time I didn't know how to react.

With the Triwizard Tournament, being worried about Harry's safety, Ron's childish display of jealousy and constantly bothered by that annoying cockroach Rita Skeeter it became confusing all together.

But it was also through out our 4th year Harry and I bonded. I soon understood Harry efforts of always making me stand on Ron's side even though it would result in him being alone.

_"Harry, I've been thinking and I noticed how you seem to put everyone else's feeling before your own."_

_"What makes you say that, Herms?"_

_"I told you not to call me that. You told me to stand by Ron so he would feel better and not think he anything less than you. I hope this does not have something to do with Ron fancying me."_

_"How did you know?"_

_"Even though that thickheaded dim-wit hasn't realized that he really fancies me, I can see the signs Harry. "_

_"Well, you sure are the brightest witch in our year." _

_"Thanks, not that I ever been told that earlier. Oh, look at that beautiful sunset!"_

_"Yeah, quite spectacular" Putting his arms around me as he said so._

_I felt the embrace as we stood a moment enjoying the view from the astronomy tower. Harry's right, this was quite spectacular. No wonder he liked this place so much. _

_"We should head back, it's dinner time and Ron must wonder where we are."_

_You know I won't choose between Ron and you, you're both my best friends."_

_One day you will have to..." It was barely audible but loud enough for me to hear. I was about to give him a piece of my mind as he flashed me a smile and grabbed my hand dragging me towards the stairs._

_"Let's go, starving to death already."_

_I let out a laugh and decided to let this one slip._

A tear ran down my cheek as I remembered how everything started to change after the last peaceful moment we had at Hogwarts before the war. It's still one of my best memories from Hogwarts til this day and I work there as a charms professor. I was weird when you thought about it. My most treasured memory of my school days is not with my soon to be husband but with our best friend, Harry. I guess I'll always wonder how our relationship would have evolved if Ron wasn't in the picture. Would Harry have Ron's place at the alter and not be the best man? What am I thinking? I love Ron and we're getting married right now. How can I have these thoughts?

I looked at Ron, he send me a goofy grin as always. The war had matured him as it been doing to all of us, however I can se the little boy who never could eat with his mouth closed. The same boy which temper had a fire as red as the color of his hair. The boy that loved me since 2nd year. I turned my head look at Ginny, my maid of honor. People thought that Ginny would end up with Harry. She had a crush on Harry since the first time they met at platform 9 ¾. The crush later led her to falling madly in love with Harry. They started dating after Hogwarts and seemed to be happy. Shortly after the announcement of Ron and I's engagement they broke up.

I've asked Ginny several times why it didn't work out between them but I never get a real answer. It would been great if they were together, then I wouldn't worry about Harry being alone. Somewhere deep in my chest I felt relieved that it didn't work out. I really shouldn't have these feelings towards Harry but I do, I can't deny it anymore. I know if I don't do this I will spend the rest of my life wondering what if I was with Harry instead of Ron. Maybe I've been putting off these feelings and thoughts because marrying Ron is the right thing to do. It's what people expect of us. Well, people expected Harry and Ginny to get married and they're not even together anymore. I know finally know the true reason why things didn't work out between them.

He still loves me, Harry must have asked Ginny not to tell me to make sure that I stayed with Ron. Some say the memories you cherish and the people in those memories is the persons who is the most important to you. I guess they're right. The memories I hold dear is all shared with Harry. I should have noticed this earlier It was wrong of Harry and I to have that deal after the war. I've been told that I was the brightest witch in my year but this with left Hogwarts stupid and have been immensely stupid for a long long time. It's time for me to wake up. Yes, just this time, for once I will be selfish and make a decision that will hurt Ron. I've been thinking of Ron's feelings for over ten years and I just can't do it anymore. I love Ron but I love Harry more. Harry and I have been in love with each other for over 10 years and we've been denying it for the same amount of time.

"Do you, Hermione Jean Granger take Ronald Bilius Weasley as your lawfully wedded husband whom you promise to love until death do you apart?"

Why did it took me so long to come to this conclusion? Ron will hate me for the rest of my life but I have to do this.

"Hermione?"

"Ron, I think we need to talk.."


	2. Chapter 2

Change, chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks for reviewing the first chapter. I'm happy so many people liked my story. Here's chapter 2, enjoy!_

The summer rain poured down as I ran away, leaving the shocked faces' behind. From a distant I heard them yell my name but my feet just kept going. I couldn't run that fast with the tons of white fabric wrapped around my legs. I knew it won't take long before someone caught up with me. I first thought the lack of footsteps behind was due to the heavy rain but then it hit me. Apparation! I stopped and pictured the first place that came in mind, Hogwarts. No, the apparation guards prohibit me from doing that. I need a place which is near by and with a way into glowing white wedding dress did make heads turn. Somewhere not to many people would notice me. The Hog's Head, that's it. The portrait leads right to the hall way up to that place, they only place I wanted to be at the moment.

Focusing on Hogsmeade, I apparated as I felt something swiftly trying to grab my arm but it was too late. I didn't even have a chance to see who it was, not that it did matter anyway. I didn't want anyone to stop me from running away from my own wedding, our family and friends and most of all Ron. All I said to him was that we needed to talk and then I ran away. I didn't have the courage to tell him the truth so much for a Gryffindor huh? But what could I've had said anyway?

Well, I could have told him that I wasn't ready yet. That I had cold feet and wanted more time. Maybe that I was overwhelmed by the size of the wedding. We did agree about a small wedding with just the closest family and friends but Molly convinced us otherwise. You can't really say no to Molly Weasley if you enjoyed having you head attached to your body. No, it was better like this. Leaving without a explanation.

I continued to talk myself into believing it was the right decision as I felt a chill down my cold body. I must have been standing out here a while. My joints were stiff and I shivered like a mad man. The letters Hog's Head were barely visible, the owner never bothered to fix the sign. The place were commonly known as a pub for people up to no good went, the pub with the crazy bartender and old beer.

When I walked into the Hog's Head I felt how the warmth struck me, burned my frozen skin. I looked up and met Aberforth's confusion-filled eyes and with a flick with his wand my clothes were quickly dried. I mustered a silent thanks when the shivering ceased. His only answer was a simple nod. Over the years I often came here when I needed to escape from bad reputation of the pub reduced the risk of someone recognizing me, Hermione Granger, the genius of the Golden Trio.

Almost every time I was down at the Hog, there were only me and that guy in a funny cloak, who I made fun of even though I shouldn't. I slowly noticed the similarities between Professor Dumbledore and his brother Aberforth. I could confide in both of them and get advice. One clear difference lied in the fact that Dumbledore felt more a Grandparent who would let you off the hook easily, Aberforth on were like a uncle who wouldn't get you in trouble in the first place.

I took the firewhiskey he'd put in front of me. It went down fast and I no longer felt any traces of the cold left in my body. A simple Butterbeer would have done the trick but I guess I needed it. I transformed my dress to something more comfortable, something that aloud me to move freely. Beside I would look rather crazy walking around in a wedding dress. Before I rose and walked towards the secret passage at the back, I eyed Aberforth once again expecting him to answer with the earlier nod. However he sighed.

"I knew you would never go through with the wedding but I never thought it would take you this long to figure it out."

"What, when, who, how did you know?"

He huffed "No one ever told anything about it but it's not that hard to figure out, dear. Beside you always say 'I miss him'" emphasizing on the word him "when you've had a little firewhiskey."

"But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Ah, the interesting part is what you say when you have a little to much to drink. When you're not consciously making yourself to say him, you say 'I miss Harry'. I always kept it to myself but I think you're ready to handle the truth now."

I honestly couldn't remember. The drinking part is relaxing, not being in control and let the feelings influence my actions. I blushed a bit thinking about what I've done while during those moments. I felt a little dizzy because of the drinking during the day.

"Thank you for telling me the truth, Aberforth. I think I can take myself back to the castle, no need for your help this time."

"You didn't think I've been the one to carry you back to the castle every time, did you?" eyeing me with surprise as he spoke.

When I didn't answer he opened his mouth once more to speak, I already knew what his answer was going to me.

"By your blush I think you have guessed who our mystery man could be. The dark figure with the funny cloak, the one you felt watching you, it was Harry all along. He asked me to give him a signal whenever you came down here. Harry wanted to make sure that you were safe and not disturbed in any way."

"I--"

"You must go, someone will apparate here soon. The passage is still at the back, feel free to use it. No one will know you even been here today. Now go!"

Almost forgetting about the earlier events today and suddenly realizing that he was right. I needed to go, they would find me to easy here. I ran to the back and kept running back to the castle. It was much easier without the dress and the cold rain. My instincts guided me through the castle up to the astronomy tower. I took deep breathes to slow down my pulse. They won't find me up here but to make sure of that I looked up that secret cupboard Harry and I found during our 4th year. We decorated it with a lot of pillows and candles making the place cosy and livable.

We started to spend time up here when we needed to be alone. It came in handy while Harry and Ron weren't on speaking terms. He used to joke about how this cupboard were roomier than the one he lived in at the Dursley's for the first 11 years of his life. I would scold him by telling him that it wasn't a laughing matter. It still isn't and I felt how much it saddened my by thinking of it. Harry..I let the name linger as I lay down, letting out a yawn in the process. Decided not to think more about it, enough epiphanies for one day, I closed my eyes and let myself drift to sleep. I'm home, safe.

_A/N: Loved it, hated it, review and let me know. If there are any errrors let me know as well. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm sorry that I didn't post this earlier. I just a bit inconsistent in my writing. Lost my inspiration while writing this chapter but I finally finished it. I think I will be able to post more chapters during this summer. I'm off for a music festival here in Sweden in a couple of days and will not be able to check any reviews. But I'll get you when I'm back! Hope everyone is enjoying a great summer!

Chapter 3

I rolled over to hug the sleeping figure as usual but I only felt the cold marble wall against my fingertips. The earlier events slowly replayed in my head. Ginny , white dress, Molly, mom's old turquoise necklace, tears, church, Harry, altar, Ron, rain, Aberforth, Hogwarts. I fell asleep here in the astronomy tower. How long have I been sleeping? I got out from my little hideout to find the sky of a bright orange colour by the globe which went higher and higher. The sunrise captured my like a rebirth of a Phoenix, rising out out the the grey ash and filling it's surrounding with a fierce orange light.

I suddenly realized that I stood as far out as I possibly could, slightly resting against the small metal bar. I smiled to myself. 10 years ago I wouldn't even think about standing here let alone leaning with my upper body over the bar. The first time Harry brought me up here, I panicked and ran down the stairs when he tried to walk out to the balcony. I remember how much I scolded him for picking such a place for a meeting when he knew that I was Acrophobic. As time went he lured me further and further out on this balcony til I finally stood where I'm standing right now.

Harry got me to utterly love this place when we saw our first sunset up here. Not even I can describe the beauty of the scene with words. If I would try I would go with magical, so magical even the Dusley's would believe in magic. I felt a tear run down my cheek as I remembered that it was this same memoery that kept me from marrying Ron yesterday. I need to stop thinking about Harry. I don't have the right to when I chose Ron over him all those years ago. I called it off with Ron yesterday but I-

My thoughts were interrupted with a cough behind me, Professor McGonagall.

"Good morning, Hermione."

"Good morning, Professor."

She simply smiled at my response. Even though it were more than seven years ago sine I graduated from Hogwarts I never stopped calling her Professor. Not even when she insisted on calling Minerva when I joined the staff.

"Harry asked me to inform him if you have been seen on Hogwarts grounds. I haven't done such thing. I thought you needed a night's rest before dealing with the fallout of yesterday's actions. I told Harry that there were no need to worry. You're a bright and skilled witch who is fully capable of taking care of yourself. By your facial expression I think that were a response in your taste, Hermione?

"Thank you, Prof-Minerva." blushing a bit at her last comment.

"I should advise you to contact miss Wesley. I'm sure she will will be happy to see you."

"I will and thank you again for not informing anyone about my whereabouts."

"One last advice, Hermione. Once in a while we need to give our brains' some rest to be able to listen to our hearts'."

I simply nodded. I never know how every Headmaster and Headmistress at Hogwarts seem to know absolutely everything. Maybe I could only figure that out if I'd become a Headmistress. I shrugged as I imagined myself in Professor McGonagall's clothes.

The walk down to the gates gave me enough time to take in the information Aberforth gave me last night and grasp the wise words of the Headmistress. I decided to send Ginny a Patronus before I apparated to her place. I can't I really deal with Ron (or Harry, another voice in my head quickly added) so soon. Ginny will understand. She's my best friend, she have to understand. A few minutes later my own otter waving at me. The coast is clear. I apparated an prepared myself for a lot of questioning from a certain redheaded witch.

"Hermione! Where have you been? We were so worried. What happened? Ro-." She stopped talking when she saw my face when she were about to say his name. "I'm glad that you're alright."

"Thanks, Gin'. I'm sorry I made you guys worry. I-" I have no idea what I said next because I started to cry.

Ginny stepped forward to hold me and led me toward the sofa. "It's okay Hermione, you don't have to talk about it. Shh.."

We sat silently in that position for a while and the only thing you could hear where the clock's ticking.

_Tick-tock_

_Tick-tock. _

_Tick-tock._

My heavy breathing slowed to keep a pace with the clock as my tears dried. It wasn't like me to behave like this, to crash and lose control over my feelings. Stress can have this affect on you, emotional stress. Ginny haven't said another word since she tried to calm me down. But I needed her to brake the ice, it's easier if she ask the questions.

"Hermione, are you okay now?"

"Mm, I'm fine"

"You know Ron's crazy, he'd been pacing around mumbling to himself since you left. What really happened at the church?"

"I don't know Gin', realization I guess."

"Realization? Of what?"

"Maybe Ron isn't the one I should be with, don't get me wrong I still love him and I'm confused about things."

"I can't say I'm happy to hear that, he's my brother after all. I understand, but the timing Hermione? It's not fair to Ron."

"I know, I know. It was better now before it's too late. I can't marry him when I'm not sure."

"You did what you have to even if I don't agree with the way you choose to do it on. If you have doubt you shouldn't be marrying Ron just yet. But please, talk to him. Whatever it is that's making you this indecisive you need to figure it out, Hermione."

Even thought she didn't say anything it was like she knew why I ran away. I shook that feeling off, it was just my imagination. Ginny can't possibly know? But this is Ginny after all, the sneaky Weasley. Well, all of them are sneaky in their way but Ginny's something else. It have to be her being the youngest and the only girl.

Before I could react Ginny pulled me near her "Someone's apparating in" and then dragged me to the nearest closet and shut the door.

I felt the tension around me as I held my breath. I began to listen to the sound of the person walking in to the living room. I peeked through a little hole and saw the fiery red hair that defined the Wesleys'. The face of the man, sitting on almost the same spot I sat on moments ago, was mischievous as it use to be. I felt how I relaxed and opened the closet.

"Oh my, I never thought I ever would see Hermione Granger come out of the closet. First Ron and now Ginny, I guess you find us Weasleys too charming. I really don't mind being next." George snickered.

The smirk on his face disappeared quickly when Ginny smacked him hard on the back of his head.

"Hey, that hurt!"

"Well, you deserved it. It was not funny. Eat this so you won't put your foot in your mouth again and shoved a cookie to George." Ginny retorted while she fought back a laugh.

"It's okay Gin. It was pretty funny actually." I walked over to give George a hug "What are you doing here by the way?"

"Someone sent me to look for you, my poor little brother is heartbroken but still want to know if you are safe. Are you coming with me to the Burrow?"

"I guess I can't hide from Ron forever, let's go you big baboon."

"After you, my lady" he said and made monkey like gestures.

I thanked Ginny for letting stay at her place and talk and thought of the Burrow. Then everything started to spin around me again.


End file.
